Discussion:
Telling parents about mental illness.
(too old to reply)
d***@gmail.com
2006-10-18 03:57:53 UTC
Permalink
Hello,

I'm 15 years old, live with my Dad, and I beleive that I may have
Bipolar Disorder. I want to tell my Dad that I think I'm mentally ill,
so I can get help, but I am scared to do so. How can I work up the
courage and tell him? How do I bring it up in a manner that won't scare
him? Is there anybody else that has been in the same place as me?

Thanks for your help,
Dusty.
HappyPolarBear
2006-10-19 23:39:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by d***@gmail.com
Hello,
I'm 15 years old, live with my Dad, and I beleive that I may have
Bipolar Disorder. I want to tell my Dad that I think I'm mentally ill,
so I can get help, but I am scared to do so. How can I work up the
courage and tell him? How do I bring it up in a manner that won't scare
him? Is there anybody else that has been in the same place as me?
Thanks for your help,
Dusty.
Hi Dusty,

being a parent I probably would be scared if my daugther would have
told me with 15 years that she feels mentally ill, but I know that I
would have given her all the help she needed and even gogether with her
to the doctor. In fact I just did that (she is now 18) last Monday as
we both believe she has a mental health issued caused by me being BP
and spending time in the hospital.

In my opinion it would be a good idea to approach your dad. You don't
have to tell him that you think you are BP but insteadt tell him how
you feel at times. He probably noticed your mood swings already and as
many doctors and parents do they blame it all on beeing a teenager. Let
him know that you feel you need help and you maybe all you need is an
assesment to figure out if there is somehting wrong.

Let us know how things are going.

PolarBear
Mike
2006-10-21 13:32:37 UTC
Permalink
I agree with Happy Polar Bear. Do it now. I am 50 and that is way to long
to wait to get help. You are young and have alot of life to live.
MIKE
--
http://www.myspace.com/bigdaddykahuna2

"When my body stops and my brain has to slam on its brakes, will it skid a
few more feet before it crashes?"
John Hartford
You are only given a small spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin
Williams
p***@hotmail.com
2006-10-22 19:40:34 UTC
Permalink
Dusty,

Well, they will find out anyway if you become manic or have a severe
depression. If you feel that you are sick it is best to go see a
doctor and find out what is going on, just like you would do if you had
the flu or a broken bone or something, just like you would take your
car to a mechanic if it were making strange noises and you weren't sure
what to do about it. You find an expert in the area you are having a
problem to diagnose and fix the problem for you. There is no reason to
continue to suffer if there is a treatment available. Just like there
are some shady bad mechanics out there that can mess up your car and
rip you off, you need to find a good doctor you can trust. A medical
doctor is like an auto mechanic for the body. They provide the same
sort of service. That's how I look at them. You have to scrutinize
them and check up on them the same way.

You are saying that you are having a problem, so it is best to tell
your parents and get it checked out as soon as possible. Just be like,
hey dad, this and that are happening to me, I read on the internet that
these may be symptoms of bipolar disorder. I wouldn't just say I think
you are just mentally ill, because that is pretty general and could
mean a lot of things. Plus he may have preconceived notions of what
that label means that aren't correct. Well, maybe, I guess there is
nothing wrong with it. It guess it is like telling him you have a
headache. You are having some problems in your mind and maybe you have
an illness, so they call it a mental illness or sickness, some sort of
a dysfunction in your brain. Well anyway I would just tell him what is
happening and what is bothering you. Then tell him you really want to
see a doctor to get it checked out to see if something can be done.

If you were my son I would want to know if you were having a problem
and needed help with something no matter what it was. Imagine if you
were all grown up and had a son. How would you respond to him if he
came and told you something was wrong and needed help? You would love
him and want him to be healthy and happy. That is the job of a parent:
to look out for your wellbeing. It is good that you are looking out
for health and realizing that you have a problem. Don't be afraid to
ask for help. There is no shame in it. It could happen to anyone and it
is not your fault. You want to get whatever is bothering you fixed.
You may need medications, maybe not. Maybe you only need to talk to an
expert person about whatever the problem is so they can give you some
direction. It is normal to have ups and downs in your mood and
emotions, especially as a teenager, so you may be alright. It is only
when it is extreme and lasting too long or alternating frequently
without reason and out of control and it is disrupting your ability to
function that you have a medical disorder, but check with a doctor. If
you are bipolar most people can be treated successfully eventually, and
you wouldn't ever know that they had anything wrong. They might just
have to take a pill once a day and everything is fine.

Take care,
Dan
Post by d***@gmail.com
Hello,
I'm 15 years old, live with my Dad, and I beleive that I may have
Bipolar Disorder. I want to tell my Dad that I think I'm mentally ill,
so I can get help, but I am scared to do so. How can I work up the
courage and tell him? How do I bring it up in a manner that won't scare
him? Is there anybody else that has been in the same place as me?
Thanks for your help,
Dusty.
d***@gmail.com
2006-10-23 21:12:37 UTC
Permalink
Thanks guys. You have all been a super help.
d***@gmail.com
2006-10-27 06:36:03 UTC
Permalink
Well this didn't work out good.

First of all, my Mom is Bipolar, so I didn't think Dad would take it so
hard. I approached him and told him that I thought I had the same thing
as Mom does. He didn't take it good, what-so-ever. He actually started
making fun of me, saying things like "What, do you want me to put you
in the fucking looney bin like I did your mom?". Then he got really
mad, and started yelling about my school performance, about me being
irritated sometimes, about my sleeping habit, telling me I should treat
him better than I do, and all kinds of stuff. This has been a pretty
crappy day, and I completely did not see that coming. I'm really lost
now, and I just give up on getting any help.

Thanks though guys, you really did help,
Dusty
Sue Bilstein
2006-10-27 10:14:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by d***@gmail.com
Well this didn't work out good.
First of all, my Mom is Bipolar, so I didn't think Dad would take it so
hard. I approached him and told him that I thought I had the same thing
as Mom does. He didn't take it good, what-so-ever. He actually started
making fun of me, saying things like "What, do you want me to put you
in the fucking looney bin like I did your mom?". Then he got really
mad, and started yelling about my school performance, about me being
irritated sometimes, about my sleeping habit, telling me I should treat
him better than I do, and all kinds of stuff. This has been a pretty
crappy day, and I completely did not see that coming. I'm really lost
now, and I just give up on getting any help.
Thanks though guys, you really did help,
Dusty
Hi Dusty.

Your Dad didn't take it well. But it may have really freaked him out
to hear that you think you have bipolar the same as your mother. He
may need time to think about it before he can deal with it properly.
Wait and see for a while. It must be hard for you when you were
hoping for help and understanding. Here's hoping he can get over his
own feelings and be some help to you.

Best,
Sue.
HappyPolarBear
2006-10-28 03:12:10 UTC
Permalink
(( Dusty ))

it is hard to understand and even accept that the loved one may have
Bipolar Disorder. Your dad probably went through a lot with your mom so
he maybe scarried that this happens to you.

You haven't said much about your mom. But I would assume you went
through a hard time with her mood swings, which could cause you to have
some emotional problems.

My daughter is 18 years old and she has a hard time coping with my mood
swings and being at the hospital. I went with my daughter to the doctor
and we will get an appointment to get her checked out. The doctor
believes her behaviour is a result of my mental health.

Dusty, don't give up on help. Do you have someone like a family doctor
you trust and who could send you for an assistment or someone
professional like a school counsellor you can talk to. You better find
out now what is wrong, as earlier you know as better treatment you can
get.

HappyPolarBear
Post by d***@gmail.com
Well this didn't work out good.
First of all, my Mom is Bipolar, so I didn't think Dad would take it so
hard. I approached him and told him that I thought I had the same thing
as Mom does. He didn't take it good, what-so-ever. He actually started
making fun of me, saying things like "What, do you want me to put you
in the fucking looney bin like I did your mom?". Then he got really
mad, and started yelling about my school performance, about me being
irritated sometimes, about my sleeping habit, telling me I should treat
him better than I do, and all kinds of stuff. This has been a pretty
crappy day, and I completely did not see that coming. I'm really lost
now, and I just give up on getting any help.
Thanks though guys, you really did help,
Dusty
p***@hotmail.com
2006-11-01 03:00:21 UTC
Permalink
Dusty,

Hey man I am sorry things didn't go so well. That is something I just
wouldn't have expected. Just about everyone has disagreements with
their parents over some things. You might just have to wait until you
are 18 to seek a medical evaluation. I have heard that some people
don't want their kids to get treatment for mental illness. They don't
believe in it. They withhold medical treatment from their kids. I even
saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "P$ychiatry Kills" and
something like "don't let shrinks drug our kids." One of the strange
things I have found out about mental illness is that for some reason
many people seem to think of it differently than other illnesses. They
think that it is some sort of personal fault or something or something
you could change if you really wanted to. It is an illness that is
sometimes difficult to see and understand. Some people just want you
to *snap out of it* and pull it together. I have had somebody slap me
a couple of times in the face durring a manic episode to try to get me
to snap out of it. It is like asking someone high on drugs to not be
high by their will. It is the same thing with depression. People will
tell you you are being rediculous and you need to stop being so
depressed about stuff. It is like they think you are behaving in a
certain way by choice or weak will when in fact it is a chemical
imbalance beyond your control. The other thing is that there doesn't
seem to be an objective test that will tell you for sure that you are
bipolar, like a blood test or something. The evaluation is subjective.
Some people don't believe in taking medications that affect your
mental states.

And like I said before, lots of people have preconceived notions about
what a person with a mental illness is like. Before all this happened
to me a few years ago I did. When they told me I was mentally ill I
didn't believe them because I didn't think I was like a mentally ill
person. The only information I had was what I had seen on TV and in
movies. The truth is that everyone is different and the illness doesn't
affect everyone in exactly the same way. I thought I had made some
interesting discoveries, had some great new ideas, and was having
something like profound religious experiences. When I tried to explain
and share some things about my experiences and tell people about some
theories and so forth, nobody understood and they thought I was crazy.
They forced me to go to the hospital. I was furious, defiant,
uncooprerative, demanded a lawyer, etc., then when I had to put on the
hospital gown in a locked room order to talk to a doctor, I refused. I
never threatened anyone or myself. Then they forced me to put the gown
on and forced me to take drugs. After they injected me with "I don't
know what" (they didn't tell me) I was so messed up I couldn't walk or
hold my head up. It was terrifying. I blacked out for days with only
vague recollections of a few things that happened. Then I was slumped
over drooling in a chair, helpless, hopeless, devistated, sad,
depressed, withdrawn, and filled with confusion and hatred. They made
me into one of "those people" with the drugs. Everything was taken
from me and I had no voice of my own that people would listen to. You
have doctors making choices for you about your body and mind without
discussing it with you or explaining what they are doing or why. Then
if you object, question, or don't comply they send in a bunch of people
to force you to take the medications (literally a bunch of people hold
you down and inject stuff into your ass) that mess you up and make it
so you can't think or communicate or they lock you in a tiny room.
Nobody talks to you about what is going on with you and they treat you
like you are inhuman. They wouldn't even tell me what it was they were
giving me. I was to just shut up and swallow the pills or get another
injection by force. It is a nightmare where you have no power
whatsoever, no rights, and nobody believes or listens to anything you
say. All of your freedom is taken away and you not have broken any
laws or done anything wrong except see the world in a different way.
So I hope you never have to go through what I have been through.

I think it is good that you told you dad you are having a problem.
Give him some time and try to explain to him how you are feeling. It
seems like he should at least listen to you and not make you feel bad.
That sucks man. Maybe you should talk to a school counselor about your
problem and the problems you are having with your dad if you can't talk
to him. I wouldn't just give up and not do anything about your
problems if they are negatively affecting your life. Sounds like you
are having a rough time. I hope things work out. I don't see why he
wouldn't take you to a doctor to get checked out. You might have a
medical problem. Good luck.

Dan
Post by d***@gmail.com
Well this didn't work out good.
First of all, my Mom is Bipolar, so I didn't think Dad would take it so
hard. I approached him and told him that I thought I had the same thing
as Mom does. He didn't take it good, what-so-ever. He actually started
making fun of me, saying things like "What, do you want me to put you
in the fucking looney bin like I did your mom?". Then he got really
mad, and started yelling about my school performance, about me being
irritated sometimes, about my sleeping habit, telling me I should treat
him better than I do, and all kinds of stuff. This has been a pretty
crappy day, and I completely did not see that coming. I'm really lost
now, and I just give up on getting any help.
Thanks though guys, you really did help,
Dusty
Xar
2006-11-05 03:51:42 UTC
Permalink
Hi Dusty,
My mom was bipolar too. My dad did not seem to cope very well with her
illness -meaning I do not think he ever really understood what happed
to her. He just said she was sick.
If you father will not acknowledge your request for "help" (meaning
"Dad, I think I could use some help here ... I do not feel well.) then
he is in denial -fear -anger mode.
What you do know fr sure is you are not feeling right... bipolar is not
something you diagnose yourself with -perhaps you could get some help
from the school nurse and go from there...
Also to learn more about bipolar disorder and to watch some online
videos about bipolar and hear from patients themselves what they say
its like:
goto:

http://bipolarhelp.org/

or to view the same videos on youtube.com goto:



-Hang in there :)

Mike
2006-10-30 23:22:48 UTC
Permalink
Hows it going Dusty???
MIKE
--
http://www.myspace.com/bigdaddykahuna2

"When my body stops and my brain has to slam on its brakes, will it skid a
few more feet before it crashes?"
John Hartford
You are only given a small spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin
Williams
Post by d***@gmail.com
Thanks guys. You have all been a super help.
Loading...