Introductions and some more....

[JD]

Hey all, just thought I would introduce myself to everyone. It is now
05:26 and at 09:00 will have been up for 24 hours straight, well
nothing new there. Been like this for a week or so and it is doing my
head in. Start lithium on Tuesday so may get a bit more stable as from
then?!?!?! Does anyone else find their friends dont understand. I have
a friend who keeps badgering me about how I should look for alternative
therapies to solve the problem rather than lithium. I just want some
plain sailing for the next wee while.

I was a student nurse for a year passed it so far but lecturer thought
I was not looking to good so offered me the option to have a break or
be forced to have a break. Have found that nurses can be more
discriminating. I was originally told by occupational health for my
placement to inform my mentor about being bipolar/manic depressive,
think the term makes you more depressed than anything, so when I was
open about it they freaked out a bit and used it against me or is it
just me that is thinking that?!?!??!Man my head is mashed but there is
too much going on for it to close down. I definately believe they were
not very helpful because well they told me that I shouldnt have said
anything and even knowing I was told by Occupational Health to do so.
Talk about try and confuse a man.

Was on Sodium valporate but got really bad side-effects and well as you
can see it aint working very well and am on 1600mg a day and all i
ended up with was an upset stomach, muscle spasms and slurred speach,
ended up getting hastle of my mother when trying to talk as she didnt
understand why I couldnt speak proparly.

Am also on rispiradone and mirtazapine, occasionally when it gets too
much with the lack of sleep they give me tamazipam or Diazapam. But
only a couple at a time cause I had the bad idea to take a few to many
a couple of times.

I have noticed the spending too much money, it was bad one time I
decided I wanted to try my hand at record decks and mixing so went out
and spent £300 on decks and a load more on records. I have changed my
course at uni from originally computing to information management to
media and information then media and finally nursing and thinking while
I am taking time out of doing a course in music business which is
really my true passion. I live for music and when I play my music I
can ignore the voices that sometimes creap into my head telling me to
do stupid things like cut myself or empty the medicine cupboard. God
am I the only one who thinks like this or are there others like me?????

I tend to have a few days where I shy away from food then start to get
force fed by my friends where they invite me round make dinner and make
sure I dont leave the table till I have eaten a decent amount.

I think one of my problems however is the lonliness that I feel just
now that no-one can help or is able to help me at this moment in time
and the lonliness of not having someone there to be able to share my
feelings with, if you can understand.

I must admit all that I have typed tonight has been truthful and has
just been what has entered my mind while I am sat here typing so I am
sorry if it seems a bit confusing and a bit scattered.

Am sorry for taking up your time but would like to know if that is
normal for people with bipolar/manic depression?

[HappyPolarBear]

(((((JD))))

to me you don't sound confusing at all. If your read my an earlier post from
me "running through a mountain of stigma" you will see I go at work so a
similar situation. They are trying to get me out now where they found out
that I am diagnosed with BP.

As for feeling alone, it is hard for others to understand even the closest
friends can't. How can someone understand when we stay up all night do all
kind of things and don't even feel tiered or they see the opposite. The most
you may get is acceptance from others.

Always know you are not alone, they are many of us here who go throught the
same things and who do understand you.

I agree with one of your friend to look for alternative methods such as
cognitive thinking. But not to replace the meds. Everyone here in the group
has told me by now to stay on meds as they keep me stable. According to my
doc I better get uses to the idea to take meds life long. :)

hope I helped a little bit, and you don't feel so alone anymore.

take care
Carmen



"JD" <***@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:***@j55g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Hey all, just thought I would introduce myself to everyone. It is now
05:26 and at 09:00 will have been up for 24 hours straight, well
nothing new there. Been like this for a week or so and it is doing my
head in. Start lithium on Tuesday so may get a bit more stable as from
then?!?!?! Does anyone else find their friends dont understand. I have
a friend who keeps badgering me about how I should look for alternative
therapies to solve the problem rather than lithium. I just want some
plain sailing for the next wee while.

I was a student nurse for a year passed it so far but lecturer thought
I was not looking to good so offered me the option to have a break or
be forced to have a break. Have found that nurses can be more
discriminating. I was originally told by occupational health for my
placement to inform my mentor about being bipolar/manic depressive,
think the term makes you more depressed than anything, so when I was
open about it they freaked out a bit and used it against me or is it
just me that is thinking that?!?!??!Man my head is mashed but there is
too much going on for it to close down. I definately believe they were
not very helpful because well they told me that I shouldnt have said
anything and even knowing I was told by Occupational Health to do so.
Talk about try and confuse a man.

Was on Sodium valporate but got really bad side-effects and well as you
can see it aint working very well and am on 1600mg a day and all i
ended up with was an upset stomach, muscle spasms and slurred speach,
ended up getting hastle of my mother when trying to talk as she didnt
understand why I couldnt speak proparly.

Am also on rispiradone and mirtazapine, occasionally when it gets too
much with the lack of sleep they give me tamazipam or Diazapam. But
only a couple at a time cause I had the bad idea to take a few to many
a couple of times.

I have noticed the spending too much money, it was bad one time I
decided I wanted to try my hand at record decks and mixing so went out
and spent £300 on decks and a load more on records. I have changed my
course at uni from originally computing to information management to
media and information then media and finally nursing and thinking while
I am taking time out of doing a course in music business which is
really my true passion. I live for music and when I play my music I
can ignore the voices that sometimes creap into my head telling me to
do stupid things like cut myself or empty the medicine cupboard. God
am I the only one who thinks like this or are there others like me?????

I tend to have a few days where I shy away from food then start to get
force fed by my friends where they invite me round make dinner and make
sure I dont leave the table till I have eaten a decent amount.

I think one of my problems however is the lonliness that I feel just
now that no-one can help or is able to help me at this moment in time
and the lonliness of not having someone there to be able to share my
feelings with, if you can understand.

I must admit all that I have typed tonight has been truthful and has
just been what has entered my mind while I am sat here typing so I am
sorry if it seems a bit confusing and a bit scattered.

Am sorry for taking up your time but would like to know if that is
normal for people with bipolar/manic depression?

[Snell]

JD! Join the club. Oh, I've spent lots of dough on things--I remember
I was going to be an amateur photographer and spent $1,000 on lenses
and filters (do I use them? Of course not) . . . I eat sporadically .
.. . I "forget" to go to bed . . . I have a drawer full of drugs that I
use to tune this up, that down, and the other sideways.

You're in good company. I'm glad to hear you're taking mirtazapine, a
drug I really like. I'm surprised that you still need temazepam to
sleep with the mirtazapine. Have you thought of adding Seroquel
(quetiapine), which has been shown to be one effective treatment for
bipolar disorder, and might cut down on the voices, for sleep? It
really does knock you out.

What about trying Lamictal as a mood stabilizer instead of the
valproate?

Welcome :-)

Snell

[JD]

Well last couple of weeks have been a bit weird, I was admitted back
into hospital for a wee break and to get my new medication sorted out.

Yeah a lot of the time I usually get temazepam to help with the sleep,
however it doesn't work all of the time as was the case the other week
when I had been up for 5 nights running and hadn't touched a thing to
eat. Mirtazapine doesnt seem to have that amounts of effect on sleep
now I am worried about its effects with the other drugs on my weight
and am extremely self conscious of this fact.

My medication has been changed and within the last couple of weeks, am
still on rispiradone 2mg, 30mg mirtazapine and the new drug lithium
which has changed from initial dose of 800mg to 1000mg and then finally
to 1200mg after blood tests.


It does seem to be working though but the doctors clinic the other week
had annoyed me as my doctor was away and the doctor that I was given
for blood tests has no concept of how to treat someone with mental
health problems and how certain things have to be done as a point of
urgency hence why I ended up in hospital.

Anyway have to pop out just now, thank god my friend has taken to
driving me in my car cause dont feel quite safe at that yet.

Anyway see you folks

JD

Post by Snell
JD! Join the club. Oh, I've spent lots of dough on things--I remember
I was going to be an amateur photographer and spent $1,000 on lenses
and filters (do I use them? Of course not) . . . I eat sporadically .
.. . I "forget" to go to bed . . . I have a drawer full of drugs that I
use to tune this up, that down, and the other sideways.
You're in good company. I'm glad to hear you're taking mirtazapine, a
drug I really like. I'm surprised that you still need temazepam to
sleep with the mirtazapine. Have you thought of adding Seroquel
(quetiapine), which has been shown to be one effective treatment for
bipolar disorder, and might cut down on the voices, for sleep? It
really does knock you out.
What about trying Lamictal as a mood stabilizer instead of the
valproate?
Welcome :-)
Snell