Employment

[JD]

Lately I was in hospital where my Psychiatrist says I should not work
for the forseeable future. I have been sopped in continuing my nursing
course and am not allowed to work as an auxilary nurse due to my
impulsiveness and generally bad health lately.

One of my friends is forcing me towards getting employment and is
pushing me hard towards this angle. I have been given a sick line for
a month and to go back when the next one is due and been told to claim
for benefits. Has anyone had this sort of experience and how long does
the whole clcaim thing take?

I just cant face work at the moment and am turning into a bit of a
recluse. I dont like going out if it is busy, in fact last weekend I
went out with a group of friends and felt awful and just wanted to
escape as soon as posible. There were loads of people around me and
when one touched me I told him in less polite way not to touch me. I
started to feel physically sick when i was due to turn up for a shift.

I am also feeling quite insignificant at th moment from the point of
view that friends do not listen to me. Im probably feeling sorry for
myself but just wish i could curl up into a ball and sleep forever.

[Snell]

Dear JD,

I'm really sorry to hear your bad news. I'm afraid I can't help you
too much, but in my experience unemployment claims take two weeks. And
I know you probably don't wanna hear this right now, but the sooner you
file, the sooner the checks will come. I know very much how it is to
feel like a recluse, like not going out. I hate going out, or I get
too nervous to go out, or I invent reasons to not go out. It's really
hard!

I have a mild BP so I can take a combination of Adderall and Klonopin
and that helps greatly with completing tasks. The Adderall gives me
the energy and the focus and the Klonopin soothes the task anxiety. I
don't know if your pdoc would go along with that--some of them look at
that medication combo as "one foot on the accelerator and one foot on
the brake."

But just to read your post, it seems you've got a lot of symptoms of
good old nasty old depression or, even worse, a mixed state. Low
energy, anxiety, fear, impulse control, anger, wanting to "sleep
forever." That's intense. How is your antidepressant(s) doing? Are
they strong enough? Or is your pdoc one of those who think that
Lamictal or Seroquel by themselves is enough AD action? It sounds as
if you need more of a boost.

Please know that my thoughts are with you and that I have
experienced--and am experiencing, though in a less intense way--the
mixed state you describe. I am here for you, as are, I believe, others
in this ng.

Sleeping forever is an attractive solution in the short term but I
strongly advise FIGHTING IT instead. Don't give in to the demon.
Fight it!

Snell

P.S. Please switch over to the non-moderated group, if you're
comfortable doing so--communication faster there. RS

[JD]

Am on 30mg of mirtazapine as an anti-depressant however have to arrange
for a cpn asap.

Thanks for your advice
JD

Post by Snell
Dear JD,
I'm really sorry to hear your bad news. I'm afraid I can't help you
too much, but in my experience unemployment claims take two weeks. And
I know you probably don't wanna hear this right now, but the sooner you
file, the sooner the checks will come. I know very much how it is to
feel like a recluse, like not going out. I hate going out, or I get
too nervous to go out, or I invent reasons to not go out. It's really
hard!
I have a mild BP so I can take a combination of Adderall and Klonopin
and that helps greatly with completing tasks. The Adderall gives me
the energy and the focus and the Klonopin soothes the task anxiety. I
don't know if your pdoc would go along with that--some of them look at
that medication combo as "one foot on the accelerator and one foot on
the brake."
But just to read your post, it seems you've got a lot of symptoms of
good old nasty old depression or, even worse, a mixed state. Low
energy, anxiety, fear, impulse control, anger, wanting to "sleep
forever." That's intense. How is your antidepressant(s) doing? Are
they strong enough? Or is your pdoc one of those who think that
Lamictal or Seroquel by themselves is enough AD action? It sounds as
if you need more of a boost.
Please know that my thoughts are with you and that I have
experienced--and am experiencing, though in a less intense way--the
mixed state you describe. I am here for you, as are, I believe, others
in this ng.
Sleeping forever is an attractive solution in the short term but I
strongly advise FIGHTING IT instead. Don't give in to the demon.
Fight it!
Snell
P.S. Please switch over to the non-moderated group, if you're
comfortable doing so--communication faster there. RS

[Maggie]

JD wrote:

I have been given a sick line for

Post by JD
a month and to go back when the next one is due and been told to claim
for benefits. Has anyone had this sort of experience and how long does
the whole clcaim thing take?

JD.......if you live in the US and are applying for Social Security
Disability benifits/SSDI
You will find this n/g uselfull. i have heard that the
applicationprocess in long and frustrating, but when you qualify you
recieve retroactive benifits from the date you filed your claim.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.social-security-disability?lnk=sg&hl=en

Post by JD
I just cant face work at the moment and am turning into a bit of a
recluse. I dont like going out if it is busy, in fact last weekend I
went out with a group of friends and felt awful and just wanted to
escape as soon as posible. There were loads of people around me and
when one touched me I told him in less polite way not to touch me. I
started to feel physically sick when i was due to turn up for a shift.

Yes......I've been there, too. it is not fun and a habit that should
be nipped in the bud with a series of small steps as soon as you are
able. it is a very seductive lifestyle and you don't want to let it
last to long. One longtime poster, and fine fellow....harry.....has
the habit of walking over to the public library and doing research,
reading, etc. he seems to thrive on it and would recommend it if he
were here. perhaps he'll pop in later.

Good luck.

Maggie----this JD is not a realtive of mine.

[Andy Mundt]

Post by JD
I just cant face work at the moment and am turning into a bit of a
recluse. I dont like going out if it is busy, in fact last weekend I
went out with a group of friends and felt awful and just wanted to
escape as soon as posible. There were loads of people around me and
when one touched me I told him in less polite way not to touch me. I
started to feel physically sick when i was due to turn up for a shift.

I've been off from work for 2 weeks, one of which was spent in the hospital.
I really don't feel up to going back to work, but I know I need to .... as
my expensive bills won't pay themselves... *sigh*... Thankfully I'm
scheduled to return tomorrow, and then I'll have Tues off for the holiday.

And I can also relate to the social aspect, too. I'm typically a very social
person... especially in a hypomanic state... but then I get in those ruts
where I just want to lock myself in my apartment. At least now I've made a
deal with my girlfriend that I'll have some form of communication with her
every couple of hours when I'm in this kind of mood to make sure that I'm
still "ok".

But the whole touching thing... yeah... before I was in the hospital, it got
to where I didn't even like it when my girlfriend really touched me! I just
wanted to be left alone. Since my hospital visit, she's been doing a lot of
reading about bipolar so she can better understand what it is I'm going
thru.

Post by JD
I am also feeling quite insignificant at th moment from the point of
view that friends do not listen to me. Im probably feeling sorry for
myself but just wish i could curl up into a ball and sleep forever.

You know... I kind of felt that way, too. I actually got completely sick of
people saying "Andy, life is ups and downs... just deal with it." But it
wasn't until that I became more vocal about what I'm feeling.

It was actually great... while in the hospital I spoke with my pastor. And I
ended up asking him to tell the congregation that I'm bipolar and explain
that I was in the hospital due to some complications. Just having him tell
such a large group of people that I know love and care for me really helped.
And then today many people gave me hugs and were so glad to see me. It was
great to see that no one really asked me many questions. But there was a
lady who approached me after service today.... she's been diagnosed bipolar
by a nurse practitioner.... and has had a huge fear of actually seeking a
psychiatrist. But I gave her my doc's info... and advised that she's great!

So it's interesting... although I was kinda feeling insignifcant... I was
able to force myself to get up and go to church today... and it was this
really awesome feeling knowing that through my "suffering" I can still even
help others!!