Popping the Question?

[traktrgrl]

Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"

Ugh. Nothing pisses me off more. I have been acceptably stable for
five years. Why is it that my family and friends still can't tolerate
a single complex emotion out of me or too many little jokes. Anger
provokes an especially enchanting response.

Anyone else have similar feelings towards this?

[HeatherOK]

Post by traktrgrl
Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"

I get that sometimes at work, usually when I get upset. Instead of
being asked if I'm taking my meds, I get asked to call my doctor and
have her change them. I finally learned to say "BIPOLAR DOES NOT MEAN
THAT I CAN'T GET ANGRY OR SHOW ANY OTHER EMOTION!" After the fourth
time, I haven't had to say that.

The last time I got angry (and it was justified), if it wasn't for
someone else in the group "coming out" and saying that my medicine had
nothing to do with it and I was justified in getting upset, I'd have
had to say that again. It was amazing how their attitude toward me
had changed after that.

My family, well, I don't pay attention to them. The ones who give me
shit about it are usually the ones who are bipolar but are in some
major denial about being bipolar and obviously not medicated.

[north polar skip]

It just happened to me the other day. My husband thought, because I was
angry, that I needed to increase the dosage of one of my meds. He won't
be saying that again. = ) Skipper

Post by HeatherOK

Post by traktrgrl
Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"

I get that sometimes at work, usually when I get upset. Instead of
being asked if I'm taking my meds, I get asked to call my doctor and
have her change them. I finally learned to say "BIPOLAR DOES NOT MEAN
THAT I CAN'T GET ANGRY OR SHOW ANY OTHER EMOTION!" After the fourth
time, I haven't had to say that.
The last time I got angry (and it was justified), if it wasn't for
someone else in the group "coming out" and saying that my medicine had
nothing to do with it and I was justified in getting upset, I'd have
had to say that again. It was amazing how their attitude toward me
had changed after that.
My family, well, I don't pay attention to them. The ones who give me
shit about it are usually the ones who are bipolar but are in some
major denial about being bipolar and obviously not medicated.

[HeatherOK]

On 20 Jul 2006 12:40:21 -0700, "north polar skip"

Post by north polar skip
It just happened to me the other day. My husband thought, because I was
angry, that I needed to increase the dosage of one of my meds. He won't
be saying that again

Took a while for my husband to understand also. What finally got it
to click was when I dragged him with me to a few pdoc appointments and
then the mixed episode that ended up with me in a verbal vomit session
with a crisis counselor. Once the episode passed, I was fine, and my
husband really asked another two hours worth of questions. But he
understood after that.

Most of the time, my husband hears me out if he's not laughing at me
waving my hands and talking in an angry tone about what is making me
so mad.

[Beach-N-SnowGirl]

This is why I am terrified of telling people of my diagnosis. Right
now, I may be emotional, but at least I'm considered to have an
argument or a valid reason for my emotions, however strong they may be.
I honestly believe that if/when people find out, they'll negate any
ligitimate reason for my emotions and decide to discount my arguments
as 'another bipolar episode.'

*sigh* i guess that there isn't much to be done about it other than
pointing out to them the idiocy of their assumptions, as you have.

Post by traktrgrl
Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"
Ugh. Nothing pisses me off more. I have been acceptably stable for
five years. Why is it that my family and friends still can't tolerate
a single complex emotion out of me or too many little jokes. Anger
provokes an especially enchanting response.
Anyone else have similar feelings towards this?

[Malcolm]

Post by traktrgrl
Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"
Ugh. Nothing pisses me off more. I have been acceptably stable for
five years. Why is it that my family and friends still can't tolerate
a single complex emotion out of me or too many little jokes. Anger
provokes an especially enchanting response.
Anyone else have similar feelings towards this?

It is irritating. Anytime it is convenient for someone else they can simply
attribute your behaviour or attitudes to mental illness.

I don't know an easy way round this one.

[jen]

Post by traktrgrl
Why is it that some many BP-friends and family think the slightest
deviation from a lolling rowboat demeanor means "SHE MUST BE OFF THE
MEDS!!!!! ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS??"
Ugh. Nothing pisses me off more. I have been acceptably stable for
five years. Why is it that my family and friends still can't tolerate
a single complex emotion out of me or too many little jokes. Anger
provokes an especially enchanting response.
Anyone else have similar feelings towards this?

Most of the friends that I have now didn't know me when I was
uncontrollably manic. They haven't seen the really dysphoric side of
me that even I call crazy. But I get the same thing - if I get angry
at anything, justified or not, the first reaction is "Are you off your
meds?" Funny thing is, in five years I've only been ON meds for a 4
month period, and that's hardly enough to illicit a major change in
behavior.

It's been my experience that when I'm on medication, which has been any
combination of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, & anxiety meds, if
it isn't *just the right* combination, I just don't care. Things don't
make me mad, sad, happy - I just let things go. Honestly, if that's
the "me" that people prefer, then I don't need them.

~jen

PS - HI!! I'm new here!

[HoPpeR© trading at 1492¥]

Post by jen
It's been my experience that when I'm on medication, which has been any
combination of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, & anxiety meds, if
it isn't *just the right* combination, I just don't care. Things don't
make me mad, sad, happy - I just let things go. Honestly, if that's
the "me" that people prefer, then I don't need them.

I found that I had to work hard to find the right med to knock off the
highs and lows but also allowed me to feel alive. Most people here
will instantly know the feelings you write about. We all have felt
this.

Keep in mind that indulging in those "alive" feelings can physically
change the structure of your mind so that as you age, the mood cycling
becomes more entrenched. You train your brain to make it easier to
feel highs and lows. This leads some people into a mental hospital
later in life. Find some balance and try to keep it.

Here is a good explanation of this, called the Kindling Effect.
http://bipolar.about.com/cs/brainchemistry/a/0009_kindling1.htm

What meds have you tried?

Be well,

HoP

The preceding message represents personal opinions
and/or advice that may prove incorrect or harmful. But then maybe not.
Feel free to disregard.

------- Words have no Warranty ------
------- No View without Merit ------
..

[Maggie]

Post by jen
~jen
PS - HI!! I'm new here!

Jen,

Are you a recently married, and more recently non smoker friend of
Grace?

If so, or if if you're another person, welcome

Maggie