The Mental Illness Mind-set

[p***@hotmail.com]

I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[Celtic ferret]

I don't think its about being menatlly ill. I think it's about what
being menatally ill takes away from us. I had my own business, its
gone. I occassionally get calls from someone I used to do biz with. I
collected a few bucks for helping them with something I would've walked
them through on the phone for free. I had an excellent memory. Now I
can't remember something I told you 5 minutes ago. I use to read a
lot. Now I can't remember enough to even make the effort to read a
book. It took me 2 weeks to read harry potter. In the past I would've
knocked it out in a day or 2, even with work and a kid at home.

I can't remember my ferrets names. They have always been important to
me. The dog comes to the ferrets names, so he must know them all.

KG

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[Noweldrecumbent]

I resemble that in almost every aspect from the successful business to going
broke. A doctor is helping me to get back on my feet buts it's been a slow
road. Keep the faith
Dave

Post by Celtic ferret
I don't think its about being menatlly ill. I think it's about what
being menatally ill takes away from us. I had my own business, its
gone. I occassionally get calls from someone I used to do biz with. I
collected a few bucks for helping them with something I would've walked
them through on the phone for free. I had an excellent memory. Now I
can't remember something I told you 5 minutes ago. I use to read a
lot. Now I can't remember enough to even make the effort to read a
book. It took me 2 weeks to read harry potter. In the past I would've
knocked it out in a day or 2, even with work and a kid at home.
I can't remember my ferrets names. They have always been important to
me. The dog comes to the ferrets names, so he must know them all.
KG

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[m***@earthlink.net]

Do those of use who suffer from any type of mental illness allow others
to treat us rudely or unkindly because we allow them? Society does
exactly celebrate anyone suffering from mental illness or contagious
diseases. My self-esteem and confidence have been so trampled that I
no longer know who I am. It is so difficult to feel like an empty
shell and have my children (grown) treat me as someone they wish they
had never met. I have to say that I pray every night they never
experience what I have. I never thought I would no longer exist. How
long can it take to find the right doctor (psych) and therapist and how
do people go on until they are successful? If someone told me to swim
across a pool (I could drown in 3 feet in water) and I would feel 20
percent better, I'd give it a try. Oddly my young 34 year old son
(physical trainer, healthy, no drugs, etc 100 on bike every weekend)
had a stroke a few weeks ago. He is recovering quickly, but I thought
he might appreciate what I am going through. Nope. How do people keep
from just going to bed one day and staying there? There has to be hope
somewhere.

Post by Noweldrecumbent
I resemble that in almost every aspect from the successful business to going
broke. A doctor is helping me to get back on my feet buts it's been a slow
road. Keep the faith
Dave

Post by Celtic ferret
I don't think its about being menatlly ill. I think it's about what
being menatally ill takes away from us. I had my own business, its
gone. I occassionally get calls from someone I used to do biz with. I
collected a few bucks for helping them with something I would've walked
them through on the phone for free. I had an excellent memory. Now I
can't remember something I told you 5 minutes ago. I use to read a
lot. Now I can't remember enough to even make the effort to read a
book. It took me 2 weeks to read harry potter. In the past I would've
knocked it out in a day or 2, even with work and a kid at home.
I can't remember my ferrets names. They have always been important to
me. The dog comes to the ferrets names, so he must know them all.
KG

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[HoPpeR© trading at 1492¥]

Post by m***@earthlink.net
Do those of use who suffer from any type of mental illness allow others
to treat us rudely or unkindly because we allow them? Society does
exactly celebrate anyone suffering from mental illness or contagious
diseases. My self-esteem and confidence have been so trampled that I
no longer know who I am. It is so difficult to feel like an empty
shell and have my children (grown) treat me as someone they wish they
had never met. I have to say that I pray every night they never
experience what I have. I never thought I would no longer exist. How
long can it take to find the right doctor (psych) and therapist and how
do people go on until they are successful? If someone told me to swim
across a pool (I could drown in 3 feet in water) and I would feel 20
percent better, I'd give it a try. Oddly my young 34 year old son
(physical trainer, healthy, no drugs, etc 100 on bike every weekend)
had a stroke a few weeks ago. He is recovering quickly, but I thought
he might appreciate what I am going through. Nope. How do people keep
from just going to bed one day and staying there? There has to be hope
somewhere.

I can tell you that the right meds can make life look worth living
despite of how you have been treated.

I've often wished I could curse people to live feeling how we do for
just a week.

Be well,

HoP

The preceding message represents personal opinions
and/or advice that may prove incorrect or harmful. But then maybe not.
Feel free to disregard.

------- Words have no Warranty ------
------- No View without Merit ------

[Cybil Cyclone]

What a slap in the face I felt when reading these postings. Of course I
went from career to career and went from full to part time and now I am
managing on limited income. Now that I am used to not working, I've
convinced myself that the only thing I'm missing is the stress that came
with high-paced jobs I worked.

I lost friends and gave my mom some things to talk about to my siblings.
I've met some wonderful people that have bipolar or other disorders that
I can call and talk to. There can be a certain connection that attracts
them to me.

My oldest son blessed me with 3 grandchildren. They love me and I love
them. Serena is 3, JJ is 2 and Aaron is 5 days old. I am forever
grateful for these young persons in my life. They stay overnight often
and since I don't drink or party anymore, I can see them whenever I
want. My husband couldn't deal with my mood disorder and I couldn't
deal with his drinking. We do have a relationship because we do care
about each other but cannot spend too many days together.

My bad dreaded depression comes right after Christmas and January is my
most lonely and fearful time. Last year I simply had a med change and
it worked. I am being hopeful and positive that the meds will help me
along with my gkids' visits.

I also have a chihuahua called Cocoa who is always with me and a cat
called Baby Poo who I have had since birth. The mom and kittens went to
good homes. They do help me by being my best friends especially when
isolation is at hand.

Coping mechanisms help. Sometimes they are hard to find. I was an avid
reader and writer but medicine and illness has caused me great problems
with my short term memory, too. I carry notebooks when I am gone to
write things that I need to remember and at home I use a calendar to
write on. Every day I make a list of "things to do" and my goal for
"one day at a time" is to try to finish everything on that list. I
started doing this about 2 years ago. My list has grown from
approximately 5-6 items to 10-20 now.

I hope everyone finds peace and joy at this time and know you are not
alone.

Take care,
Cybil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Fri, Nov 24, 2006, 2:54pm (EST-3) ***@earthlink.net replied
Do those of use who suffer from any type of mental illness allow others
to treat us rudely or unkindly because we allow them? Society does
exactly celebrate anyone suffering from mental illness or contagious
diseases. My self-esteem and confidence have been so trampled that I no
longer know who I am. It is so difficult to feel like an empty shell and
have my children (grown) treat me as someone they wish they had never
met. I have to say that I pray every night they never experience what I
have. =A0 I never thought I would no longer exist. How long can it take
to find the right doctor (psych) and therapist and how do people go on
until they are successful? If someone told me to swim across a pool (I
could drown in 3 feet in water) and I would feel 20 percent better, I'd
give it a try. Oddly my young 34 year old son (physical trainer,
healthy, no drugs, etc 100 on bike every weekend) had a stroke a few
weeks ago. He is recovering quickly, but I thought he might appreciate
what I am going through. Nope. How do people keep from just going to bed
one day and staying there? There has to be hope somewhere.
Noweldrecumbent wrote:
I resemble that in almost every aspect from the successful business to
going broke. A doctor is helping me to get back on my feet buts it's
been a slow road. Keep the faith
Dave
"Celtic ferret" <***@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:Vnu8h.13221$***@newssvr29.news.prodigy.net...
I don't think its about being menatlly ill. I think it's about what
being menatally ill takes away from us. I had my own business, its gone.
I occassionally get calls from someone I used to do biz with. I
collected a few bucks for helping them with something I would've walked
them through on the phone for free. I had an excellent memory. Now I
can't remember something I told you 5 minutes ago. I use to read a lot.
Now I can't remember enough to even make the effort to read a book. It
took me 2 weeks to read harry potter. In the past I would've knocked it
out in a day or 2, even with work and a kid at home.
I can't remember my ferrets names. They have always been important to
me. The dog comes to the ferrets names, so he must know them all.
KG
***@hotmail.com wrote:
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower income.
I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
=A0=A0I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was much
more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower expectations
for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower expectations now that
I am the mentally ill person in the family. I don't take care of things
that need to be done. It is almost like a prisoner who becomes used to
being locked up. You get used to people, doctors and so forth, telling
you what to do. Before I took care of myself and was more self
motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't imagine people talking to me
the way they do now. It is like I have been given a new identity of a
mentally ill person. Is it normal to get stuck in a rut like this and
fail to progress for a while? It really hurts my self-esteem. I don't
think medications can fix that. It has been a humbling experience.

[Cybil Cyclone]

What a slap in the face I felt when reading these postings. Of course I
went from career to career and went from full to part time and now I am
managing on limited income. Now that I am used to not working, I've
convinced myself that the only thing I'm missing is the stress that came
with high-paced jobs I worked.

I lost friends and gave my mom some things to talk about to my siblings.
I've met some wonderful people that have bipolar or other disorders that
I can call and talk to. There can be a certain connection that attracts
them to me.

My oldest son blessed me with 3 grandchildren. They love me and I love
them. Serena is 3, JJ is 2 and Aaron is 5 days old. I am forever
grateful for these young persons in my life. They stay overnight often
and since I don't drink or party anymore, I can see them whenever I
want. My husband couldn't deal with my mood disorder and I couldn't
deal with his drinking. We do have a relationship because we do care
about each other but cannot spend too many days together.

My bad dreaded depression comes right after Christmas and January is my
most lonely and fearful time. Last year I simply had a med change and
it worked. I am being hopeful and positive that the meds will help me
along with my gkids' visits.

I also have a chihuahua called Cocoa who is always with me and a cat
called Baby Poo who I have had since birth. The mom and kittens went to
good homes. They do help me by being my best friends especially when
isolation is at hand.

Coping mechanisms help. Sometimes they are hard to find. I was an avid
reader and writer but medicine and illness has caused me great problems
with my short term memory, too. I carry notebooks when I am gone to
write things that I need to remember and at home I use a calendar to
write on. Every day I make a list of "things to do" and my goal for
"one day at a time" is to try to finish everything on that list. I
started doing this about 2 years ago. My list has grown from
approximately 5-6 items to 10-20 now.

I hope everyone finds peace and joy at this time and know you are not
alone.

Take care,
Cybil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Fri, Nov 24, 2006, 2:54pm (EST-3) ***@earthlink.net replied
Do those of use who suffer from any type of mental illness allow others
to treat us rudely or unkindly because we allow them? Society does
exactly celebrate anyone suffering from mental illness or contagious
diseases. My self-esteem and confidence have been so trampled that I no
longer know who I am. It is so difficult to feel like an empty shell and
have my children (grown) treat me as someone they wish they had never
met. I have to say that I pray every night they never experience what I
have. =A0 I never thought I would no longer exist. How long can it take
to find the right doctor (psych) and therapist and how do people go on
until they are successful? If someone told me to swim across a pool (I
could drown in 3 feet in water) and I would feel 20 percent better, I'd
give it a try. Oddly my young 34 year old son (physical trainer,
healthy, no drugs, etc 100 on bike every weekend) had a stroke a few
weeks ago. He is recovering quickly, but I thought he might appreciate
what I am going through. Nope. How do people keep from just going to bed
one day and staying there? There has to be hope somewhere.
Noweldrecumbent wrote:
I resemble that in almost every aspect from the successful business to
going broke. A doctor is helping me to get back on my feet buts it's
been a slow road. Keep the faith
Dave
"Celtic ferret" <***@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:Vnu8h.13221$***@newssvr29.news.prodigy.net...
I don't think its about being menatlly ill. I think it's about what
being menatally ill takes away from us. I had my own business, its gone.
I occassionally get calls from someone I used to do biz with. I
collected a few bucks for helping them with something I would've walked
them through on the phone for free. I had an excellent memory. Now I
can't remember something I told you 5 minutes ago. I use to read a lot.
Now I can't remember enough to even make the effort to read a book. It
took me 2 weeks to read harry potter. In the past I would've knocked it
out in a day or 2, even with work and a kid at home.
I can't remember my ferrets names. They have always been important to
me. The dog comes to the ferrets names, so he must know them all.
KG
***@hotmail.com wrote:
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower income.
I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
=A0=A0I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was much
more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower expectations
for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower expectations now that
I am the mentally ill person in the family. I don't take care of things
that need to be done. It is almost like a prisoner who becomes used to
being locked up. You get used to people, doctors and so forth, telling
you what to do. Before I took care of myself and was more self
motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't imagine people talking to me
the way they do now. It is like I have been given a new identity of a
mentally ill person. Is it normal to get stuck in a rut like this and
fail to progress for a while? It really hurts my self-esteem. I don't
think medications can fix that. It has been a humbling experience.

[Leo Madrid]

I don't know if it's normal but I feel much the same way. Early this
year I had a once close and trusted friend who is a mortgage broker
defraud me out of my 3000 sq ft. loft in San Francisco and several
hundred thousand dollars. The stress of the situation pushed me into a
state of paranoid psychosis that led to a diagnosis of Bipolar I with
ultra rapid cycling. I have since been hospitalized on two occasions
and received 17 ECT treatments that have decimated my memory. I've
gone from hero to zero virtually overnight and have destroyed both mine
and my wife's lives.

In the last year I've lost my $100k + a year job, failed at opening a
business, lost my home and most of my money and am currently living in
a friends place and looking at being homeless unless I can find someone
who is willing to rent to us in the next few weeks. I've taken a job I
wouldn't have conceived of taking a few years ago and can barely get by
day to day even there. I am unable to do anything as well as I could
just a short time ago and faking everything.

I too served in the military. 10 years of distinguished/decorated
service and graduated from college the same month I was discharged.
I've always considered myself a very motivated person with goals and a
strong vision for my future. Now I can't seem to see past next week
and don't really know why I should. My mind is racing so fast I can't
read a page of anything without thinking of 10 other things at the same
time. Every day I wonder if this will be the day my wife tells me she
just can't take it any more and calles it quits, and I couldn't blame
her if she did.

I wish there was some kind of organization that focused on business for
those of us stuck in this struggle. I've been to a couple of support
groups but they don't seem to help. Just a bunch of people complaining
about their lives but nobody really doing much to support each other
except share the details of their own problems. Is there such a thing?
Could there be such a thing?

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[Garson]

Post by Leo Madrid
I don't know if it's normal but I feel much the same way. Early this
year I had a once close and trusted friend who is a mortgage broker
defraud me out of my 3000 sq ft. loft in San Francisco and several
hundred thousand dollars. The stress of the situation pushed me into a
state of paranoid psychosis that led to a diagnosis of Bipolar I with
ultra rapid cycling. I have since been hospitalized on two occasions
and received 17 ECT treatments that have decimated my memory. I've
gone from hero to zero virtually overnight and have destroyed both mine
and my wife's lives.
In the last year I've lost my $100k + a year job, failed at opening a
business, lost my home and most of my money and am currently living in
a friends place and looking at being homeless unless I can find someone
who is willing to rent to us in the next few weeks. I've taken a job I
wouldn't have conceived of taking a few years ago and can barely get by
day to day even there. I am unable to do anything as well as I could
just a short time ago and faking everything.
I too served in the military. 10 years of distinguished/decorated
service and graduated from college the same month I was discharged.
I've always considered myself a very motivated person with goals and a
strong vision for my future. Now I can't seem to see past next week
and don't really know why I should. My mind is racing so fast I can't
read a page of anything without thinking of 10 other things at the same
time. Every day I wonder if this will be the day my wife tells me she
just can't take it any more and calles it quits, and I couldn't blame
her if she did.
I wish there was some kind of organization that focused on business for
those of us stuck in this struggle. I've been to a couple of support
groups but they don't seem to help. Just a bunch of people complaining
about their lives but nobody really doing much to support each other
except share the details of their own problems. Is there such a thing?
Could there be such a thing?

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

re: Mindsets- if you got yrs at a convenience store
a person who will not allow hih/her selves to cgange their is stagnant
& is breeding reptoilians in the well
'

Garson

[p***@hotmail.com]

I know what you mean about the groups. I was hopeful that they would be
supportive. I would drive all the way across town to go to an hour
group meeting and I didn't find it helpful. It was a small group of
about 10 people. I was the only male. The rest were women of various
ages. The first time I went it was interesting to hear about some of
the things other people have experienced while having a manic episodes.
It was also a little weird. One woman looked me straight in the eye
and told me with utmost seriousness and enthusiasm that she had
"traveled in time." The next few times left me feeling more depressed.
There are a lot of people who are even worse off then I was. There
was one woman who just laid on her couch 24 hours a day while her poor
older mother worked 2 full time jobs to support her. They were in a
desperate situation for money and were praying desperately for some
help. The woman didn't seem to want to do anything to improve her
situation, even go for a walk once a day. She just complained that the
medications weren't making her better. She was totally dependent on
her mother. I felt sorry for her mother, who did most of the talking.
I was doing everything I could think of to get out of the depressed
state of mind even though it was excruciatingly difficult. This woman
was just laying around waiting for something to happen while her poor
older mother was working her ass off. There was another woman who was
stalking her ex-boyfriend and was just totally obsessed about him. Two
of the other women also described going absolutely nuts over someone.
I worried about that because I have done that a little bit before also,
been a little bit obsessive over someone, but not to the level of
stalking. I wonder if that is a trait of being bipolar? I didn't
really make any connections or friendships with anyone like I had
hoped. I am not saying I didn't like the people, I just didn't feel
like I fit in and it seemed to be making me more depressed.

I know what you mean about having 20 things going on in your mind at
once, making it difficult to concentrate on any one thing. I also know
what it is like to have my mind continue to think about things I don't
want to think about, stupid things, and for it to go really fast. It is
not fun. It is frustrating. I would jump from one subject to the next
thinking about things. I would find myself just spending hours and
hours doing nothing but sitting and thinking about random things.
Every time I would try to do something else I would get distracted by
all the stuff going on in my mind and would find myself back in the
chair thinking. I would try to read and I couldn't stay focused on
what I was reading. I would try to clean my living space and get one
or two things done before I had to go out and have a smoke and think.
I would drive several blocks past my turn when I was going somewhere
because I wouldn't be paying attention to where I was going. I got
diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. My doctor said there
is some debate that bipolar and ADD/ADHD are linked somehow in the
brain so many people are dually diagnosed.

Once I started getting treatment for the ADD things have improved
dramatically. My current medication combo is working better than
anything I have had before. I haven't felt this good in years. I am
not manic or depressed. I am starting to feel back to normal. The
Geodon, Lamictal, Adderall, Fish Oil, and multivitiman combo is working
wonders for me. My mind is wonderfully clear. I am able to focus and
I don't have all of that chatter going on in my head. I am not up in my
head as much and I am able to focus on the task at hand. I don't
obsess about things. It is great. I hope I never go back to mania or
depression. I still get a little down or a little up every now and
then but it doesn't last very long. It is not nearly as bad as it used
to be and it goes away within about a day. I got a little worried the
time I went up a little bit, but a dose of Temazepam and a good 8 hours
of sleep seems to clear that up. The feeling of going up has only
happened once in four months and it only lasted a few hours before I
took the temazepam went to sleep. The next day I was back to normal.
I take the temazepam prn, which isn't very often. The Geodon and
Adderall seem to work great together. You might want to ask your
doctor about those two.

Post by Leo Madrid
I don't know if it's normal but I feel much the same way. Early this
year I had a once close and trusted friend who is a mortgage broker
defraud me out of my 3000 sq ft. loft in San Francisco and several
hundred thousand dollars. The stress of the situation pushed me into a
state of paranoid psychosis that led to a diagnosis of Bipolar I with
ultra rapid cycling. I have since been hospitalized on two occasions
and received 17 ECT treatments that have decimated my memory. I've
gone from hero to zero virtually overnight and have destroyed both mine
and my wife's lives.
In the last year I've lost my $100k + a year job, failed at opening a
business, lost my home and most of my money and am currently living in
a friends place and looking at being homeless unless I can find someone
who is willing to rent to us in the next few weeks. I've taken a job I
wouldn't have conceived of taking a few years ago and can barely get by
day to day even there. I am unable to do anything as well as I could
just a short time ago and faking everything.
I too served in the military. 10 years of distinguished/decorated
service and graduated from college the same month I was discharged.
I've always considered myself a very motivated person with goals and a
strong vision for my future. Now I can't seem to see past next week
and don't really know why I should. My mind is racing so fast I can't
read a page of anything without thinking of 10 other things at the same
time. Every day I wonder if this will be the day my wife tells me she
just can't take it any more and calles it quits, and I couldn't blame
her if she did.
I wish there was some kind of organization that focused on business for
those of us stuck in this struggle. I've been to a couple of support
groups but they don't seem to help. Just a bunch of people complaining
about their lives but nobody really doing much to support each other
except share the details of their own problems. Is there such a thing?
Could there be such a thing?

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[henry adams]

I got on Lamictal and got much better - even to the point where I feel
"normal". Once normal, I've been accomplishing goals and people have
been noticing. I started with small goals, then progressed to
acheivements, then to things people were really proud of me; now they
are accustomed to me being normal, and slowly but surely after 4-5
years, I beat the stigma. It won't last forever, and if you do feel
normal, start a new job, or move and don't tell anyone about something
you could be discriminated against - don't tell anyone; just progress
if you can.

On the other hand, sometimes, being mentally disabled does mean that we
are disabled and we need others support. It does unfortunately mean we
sometimes say/do things we regret, and we embarrase ourselves with our
mania and delusions. We're run down by bummer meds, we can't hold a
well-paying job, we sometimes just can't get out of bed - we need help.
There is no reason at all, why you should feel ashamed asking for money
and extra help. Pretty much, every year there are 3 more new meds
(they're all coming from epilepsy), and there are new surgiries
relating to implanting pacemakers next to neck nerves. Hang in there -
you just don't have the right pill : ) When's the last time you
switched? Lastly - other people say stupid things and go bancrupt, and
people forget, and hopefully they pull themselves out. The unfortunate
part is that it takes them 1 bad year, and us a bad 5-10 years. Hang in
there - things get a lot better, there are new pills each year that are
being fda approved (or attend an experimental study group). Good luck -
it was lamictal that did the trick for me.

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

[Harry]

Post by henry adams
I got on Lamictal and got much better - even to the point where I feel
"normal". Once normal, I've been accomplishing goals and people have
been noticing. I started with small goals, then progressed to
acheivements, then to things people were really proud of me; now they
are accustomed to me being normal, and slowly but surely after 4-5
years, I beat the stigma. It won't last forever, and if you do feel
normal, start a new job, or move and don't tell anyone about something
you could be discriminated against - don't tell anyone; just progress
if you can.
On the other hand, sometimes, being mentally disabled does mean that we
are disabled and we need others support. It does unfortunately mean we
sometimes say/do things we regret, and we embarrase ourselves with our
mania and delusions. We're run down by bummer meds, we can't hold a
well-paying job, we sometimes just can't get out of bed - we need help.
There is no reason at all, why you should feel ashamed asking for money
and extra help. Pretty much, every year there are 3 more new meds
(they're all coming from epilepsy), and there are new surgiries
relating to implanting pacemakers next to neck nerves. Hang in there -
you just don't have the right pill : ) When's the last time you
switched? Lastly - other people say stupid things and go bancrupt, and
people forget, and hopefully they pull themselves out. The unfortunate
part is that it takes them 1 bad year, and us a bad 5-10 years. Hang in
there - things get a lot better, there are new pills each year that are
being fda approved (or attend an experimental study group). Good luck -
it was lamictal that did the trick for me.

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

i switched from lithium because it had become distressful(leave it at
that).Then lamictal-which helped-but i fell a lot,now topomax is
working quite well-different tokes for bipolars
groping sometimes in the dark coping

H Haller

[Harry]

Post by henry adams
I got on Lamictal and got much better - even to the point where I feel
"normal". Once normal, I've been accomplishing goals and people have
been noticing. I started with small goals, then progressed to
acheivements, then to things people were really proud of me; now they
are accustomed to me being normal, and slowly but surely after 4-5
years, I beat the stigma. It won't last forever, and if you do feel
normal, start a new job, or move and don't tell anyone about something
you could be discriminated against - don't tell anyone; just progress
if you can.
On the other hand, sometimes, being mentally disabled does mean that we
are disabled and we need others support. It does unfortunately mean we
sometimes say/do things we regret, and we embarrase ourselves with our
mania and delusions. We're run down by bummer meds, we can't hold a
well-paying job, we sometimes just can't get out of bed - we need help.
There is no reason at all, why you should feel ashamed asking for money
and extra help. Pretty much, every year there are 3 more new meds
(they're all coming from epilepsy), and there are new surgiries
relating to implanting pacemakers next to neck nerves. Hang in there -
you just don't have the right pill : ) When's the last time you
switched? Lastly - other people say stupid things and go bancrupt, and
people forget, and hopefully they pull themselves out. The unfortunate
part is that it takes them 1 bad year, and us a bad 5-10 years. Hang in
there - things get a lot better, there are new pills each year that are
being fda approved (or attend an experimental study group). Good luck -
it was lamictal that did the trick for me.

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

i switched from lithium because it had become distressful(leave it at
that).Then lamictal-which helped-but i fell a lot,now topomax is
working quite well-different tokes for bipolars
groping sometimes in the dark coping

H Haller

[Harry]

Post by henry adams
I got on Lamictal and got much better - even to the point where I feel
"normal". Once normal, I've been accomplishing goals and people have
been noticing. I started with small goals, then progressed to
acheivements, then to things people were really proud of me; now they
are accustomed to me being normal, and slowly but surely after 4-5
years, I beat the stigma. It won't last forever, and if you do feel
normal, start a new job, or move and don't tell anyone about something
you could be discriminated against - don't tell anyone; just progress
if you can.
On the other hand, sometimes, being mentally disabled does mean that we
are disabled and we need others support. It does unfortunately mean we
sometimes say/do things we regret, and we embarrase ourselves with our
mania and delusions. We're run down by bummer meds, we can't hold a
well-paying job, we sometimes just can't get out of bed - we need help.
There is no reason at all, why you should feel ashamed asking for money
and extra help. Pretty much, every year there are 3 more new meds
(they're all coming from epilepsy), and there are new surgiries
relating to implanting pacemakers next to neck nerves. Hang in there -
you just don't have the right pill : ) When's the last time you
switched? Lastly - other people say stupid things and go bancrupt, and
people forget, and hopefully they pull themselves out. The unfortunate
part is that it takes them 1 bad year, and us a bad 5-10 years. Hang in
there - things get a lot better, there are new pills each year that are
being fda approved (or attend an experimental study group). Good luck -
it was lamictal that did the trick for me.

Post by p***@hotmail.com
I remember before this started a few years ago I had a lot more goals.
Lately it seems I have fallen into a mind-set were I don't seem to care
as much about my career and seem resigned to working for a lower
income. I have become used to taking money from people when I need it.
I never took money from people before. I served in the Army, got a
college degree, and was successful at a lot of other things and was
much more active in the community. Now it seems I have set lower
expectations for myself. Mostly other people seem to have lower
expectations now that I am the mentally ill person in the family. I
don't take care of things that need to be done. It is almost like a
prisoner who becomes used to being locked up. You get used to people,
doctors and so forth, telling you what to do. Before I took care of
myself and was more self motivated. I was a grown man. I couldn't
imagine people talking to me the way they do now. It is like I have
been given a new identity of a mentally ill person. Is it normal to
get stuck in a rut like this and fail to progress for a while? It
really hurts my self-esteem. I don't think medications can fix that.
It has been a humbling experience.

i switched from lithium because it had become distressful(leave it at
that).Then lamictal-which helped-but i fell a lot,now topomax is
working quite well-different tokes for bipolars
groping sometimes in the dark coping

H Haller