Hello There!

[Andy Mundt]

Hello Group,

Well... I figured I'd see what the moderated group is like... I was
searching for a possible support group... I posted less than I week in the
ASDM.. and quickly discovered that many people there are more concerned
about boosting themselves than helping and supporting others. I really hope
this group, being moderated, will be a bit more respectful and resourceful.

I'm Andy... just recently diagnosed BP II this past Oct... I recently had a
very bad episode that landed me a week's stay in the hospital (I just got
out this past Mon). And while in the hospital I realized that I really
needed to get a better support system in place.

Anyway.. just a quick lil bout me... grew up in northern Minnesota... lived
3 years in Wisconsin before moving to Orlando, Florida 3 years ago. I have a
great girlfriend, although that's another discussion in and of itself right
there!... But find a lot of support if my friends and church, which is like
family to me being so far away from my actual family.

I currently take 10mb lexapro, 200mg lamictal, and .5 xanax as needed..
although the xanax is just kind of a quick bandaide fix for a cpl weeks
while my doctor's actually on vacation. haha... she just didn't want to
start me on a new med and head out of town.

~Andy

PS... although there weren't many in this post, I quite often use a lot of
"hehe" and "haha" in my emails/msgs! haha

[Maggie]

Post by Andy Mundt
I currently take 10mb lexapro, 200mg lamictal, and .5 xanax as needed..
although the xanax is just kind of a quick bandaide fix for a cpl weeks
while my doctor's actually on vacation. haha... she just didn't want to
start me on a new med and head out of town.

I knew we had a lot in common, Andy.

I;m also BP2......diagnosed very late in life...6 years ago after being
misiagnosed as unipolar all of my life. diispite telling all the
shriks I eve had....starting at 16 that BP runs rampant in my mother's
maternal line.

My meds are very similar to yours. Lamictal 200, Lexapro 20......up
from 10. i've been on it for 4 years and it's given me the best
stability I've ever ad in my life....but as you know....I really miss
the wonderful "goal oriented behavior" I experienced with hypomania.

PS....re the lovely girlfriend. Try to nip any of that push her away
for her own good stuff when you're feeling fragile, okay. I am
currently shocked to discover that after doing that several years ago
to a perfectly good ex-husband.....when I finally realized what a big
mistake that was he had already gone on with his life. He's still a
great guy, though.

Magz

[Andy Mundt]

..

Post by Maggie
I;m also BP2......diagnosed very late in life...6 years ago after being
misiagnosed as unipolar all of my life. diispite telling all the
shriks I eve had....starting at 16 that BP runs rampant in my mother's
maternal line.

haha yeah... one of my sisters is also diagnosed bipolar... and pretty much
everyone in my family agrees that Mom's got something going, too.. haha..
..but she really won't go seek treatment...

Post by Maggie
My meds are very similar to yours. Lamictal 200, Lexapro 20......up
from 10. i've been on it for 4 years and it's given me the best
stability I've ever ad in my life....but as you know....I really miss
the wonderful "goal oriented behavior" I experienced with hypomania.

haha... I previously was on lexapro 20... but bumped down to 10 after my
last crazy hypomanic episode... however, I'm thinking that might quite
possibly be adjusted again... cuz right now I really don't feel that my meds
are doing things just right... still need some tweaking on the combinations.

What's kinda bad now is that... well, I could easily kinda get back in
hypomania mode fairly easily... that's what kinda scares me... it wouldn't
take much to really trigger me right now.... but I know that if I take on
bunches of different tasks and what-not that... well, when I crash, I'll
crash BIG TIME... cuz I'll feel sooo guilty about all these responsibilites
that I'm unable to fulfill.

Post by Maggie
PS....re the lovely girlfriend. Try to nip any of that push her away
for her own good stuff when you're feeling fragile, okay. I am
currently shocked to discover that after doing that several years ago
to a perfectly good ex-husband.....when I finally realized what a big
mistake that was he had already gone on with his life. He's still a
great guy, though.

Well... see my entire relationship with her is actually a HUGE source of my
anxiety. I'm actually really looking forward to start some counseling this
week.

To give u a lil history about myself.... for years I considered myself gay.
But then ... I guess it would've been around the beginning of the year... I
realized that I had some strong feelings for a very close female friend of
mine. And then she was planning to move away this fall... so I kinda
figured that I needed to talk to her about these feelings. Well... it
resulted in us starting to date.

Things seemed to have been going very well... but then.. I dunno... all of a
sudden I realized it became the source of much of my anxiety... and I"m not
really certain as to why. Sometimes I think perhaps it's because I'm maybe
forcing myself into a relationship that I shouldn't be in...???... I
dunno... a lot of questions I need to figure out and answer. And I'm really
hoping some counseling will help me work thru some of those.. haha

~Andy

[Maggie]

Post by Andy Mundt
Things seemed to have been going very well... but then.. I dunno... all of a
sudden I realized it became the source of much of my anxiety... and I"m not
really certain as to why. Sometimes I think perhaps it's because I'm maybe
forcing myself into a relationship that I shouldn't be in...???... I
dunno... a lot of questions I need to figure out and answer. And I'm really
hoping some counseling will help me work thru some of those.. haha
~Andy

Ah, Andy......hang in there. Youo're a young man ans as far as the
BP....being diagnosed and treated in your early 20's will save you tons
of time floating around wondering why you're so "moody" and often out
of control.

As to the rest.....I'm paraphrasing harry who hit it on the head:

BiPolars have all the real life issues that the rest of the population
does....with the layer of this BP Wild Card that makes everything seem
like a very big deal....bigger than others have when trying to deal
with life.

As to your love life. If ost people take a good look at their
families...going only as far out as counsins and 2nd cousins.....they
almost always find somebody who's gay. thank god coming out is so much
easier than it was years ago.

Take care,

Maggie

[Snell]

I feel denigrated and underappreciated. I made an effort to welcome
you to the ASDM newsgroup, Andy, on Tuesday, 6.27. Many other
people--RubyB, Skipper, Stephanie, Maggie, canadagirl--did the same.
*Then* I spent a rather long time writing to you about how powerful
anti-inflammatory steroids can cause destabilization of people's moods
and mental processes. You seemed happy with ADSM then. You then saw a
little bit of acting out by some regulars--none of it really directed
at you--and you then characterized the group thus: "[M]any people there
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others."

Andy, I say this, as I said in my earlier post to you, only to help:
You cannot run away from suffering. Life is suffering. Someone will
say something to annoy you in this group, too, and in the next, and in
the next. I could ask, Hey, if your girlfriend and church
congregations are such marvelous support groups, why do you feel the
need to come here, purportedly to be abused?

I think the answer--pardon me for my armchair psychoanalysis--MIGHT
(note use of auxiliary verb indicating probability, not certainty) have
something to do with a need you have of being the object of people's
*attention*?

Do you really not know, Andy, that many of the same people who read
alt.support.depression.manic also read
alt.support.depression.manic.moderated?

Andy, I wish you had a thicker skin, because "support" doesn't just
feel nice, as a warm bath does. Sometimes "support" is a kick in the
ass. Sometimes it's when someone holds up a mirror to show one the
actual effects of one's own words and deeds. That's not exactly
pleasurable, either.

So, as I did in ASDM, I welcome you to ASDMM. Just as most of us, when
replying to your posts, are listening to you and are "being there for
you," please recogize your reciprocal duty to "be there" for others.
We all have this disease, whether you call it Bipolar Disorder [I, II,
or NOS] or manic-depression. So I, and others, I think, are going to
call on YOU to support us, sometimes.

Painting all of us with the broad, broad brush of "many people there
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others" is not productive, either for you or for others.
It's a little passive-aggressive, a little ungrateful, and a little
self-centered . . . those three traits are going to make your disorder
harder on you; I think you might well jettison them.

All of this is intended as "support," and nothing more or less.

Best, Snell
P.S. I put some comments interspersed in your OP. (RS)

Andy Mundt did on June 30 write to this moderated group, introducing

Post by Andy Mundt
Well... I figured I'd see what the moderated group is like... I was
searching for a possible support group... I posted less than I week in the
ASDM.. and quickly discovered that many people there are more concerned
about boosting themselves than helping and supporting others. I really hope
this group, being moderated, will be a bit more respectful and resourceful.

Honestly, honestly, honestly, I just spent half an hour searching all
posts in alt.support.depression.manic with the character string "Andy
Mundt". Other than one long and incoherent post, one where it was well
nigh impossible to see the poster as an intelligent guy with an
extraverted personality and eduring a (hypo)manic episode, I couldn't
find any instance about people booting themselves. In one of the
posts, I chastised the poster referred to above by suggesting that it
wasn't appropriate to complain about a certain other poster, and it
seemed no one was injured by my two cents on that point.

On the contrary, it had seemed that almost all responses to you, Andy,
were kind and supportive. Sure, there was some teasing about your
idiosyncrasy of speech, but that was clearly (to me) joking. At least
four (4) people, including me, came forward and actively welcomed you.
The irony is that, just as Maggie suggested in her 6/30 post to you,
Andy, most of the people in ADSM also check out this newsgroup as well.

Post by Andy Mundt
I have a
great girlfriend, although that's another discussion in and of itself right
there!... But find a lot of support if my friends and church, which is like
family to me being so far away from my actual family.

I'm very glad you have the support you want from your girlfriend,
friends, and church. I find church congregations (well, Zen Buddhist
sanghas) extraordinarily supportive.

Post by Andy Mundt
although the xanax is just kind of a quick bandaide fix for a cpl weeks
while my doctor's actually on vacation. haha... she just didn't want to
start me on a new med and head out of town.

It seems you're guilty about taking the Xanax. Remember: "It's all
right to take the pills that make you feel better!"

[Andy Mundt]

Post by Snell
I feel denigrated and underappreciated. I made an effort to welcome
you to the ASDM newsgroup, Andy, on Tuesday, 6.27. Many other
people--RubyB, Skipper, Stephanie, Maggie, canadagirl--did the same.
*Then* I spent a rather long time writing to you about how powerful
anti-inflammatory steroids can cause destabilization of people's moods
and mental processes. You seemed happy with ADSM then. You then saw a
little bit of acting out by some regulars--none of it really directed
at you--and you then characterized the group thus: "[M]any people there
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others."

Oh yes, I recall your post to be extremely helpful... and yes, there were
numerous other people in there who were helpful and I greatly appreciated
the support. I do realize that my post came out very harsh/wrong. I
shouldn't have made the post so generalized I guess... and for that I do
apologize.

Post by Snell
You cannot run away from suffering. Life is suffering. Someone will
say something to annoy you in this group, too, and in the next, and in
the next. I could ask, Hey, if your girlfriend and church
congregations are such marvelous support groups, why do you feel the
need to come here, purportedly to be abused?

Oh, although being young, I know quite a lot about suffering. I sought out a
group like this to be able to talk to, and possibly relate with, fellow
bipolar people. I know that ppl will say/do things in life that will annoy
me. That's life. However, especially when dealing with people having the
same disease, is there no courtesy? By no means is this being directed at
you. I've found your posts and information to be extremely helpful!

Post by Snell
I think the answer--pardon me for my armchair psychoanalysis--MIGHT
(note use of auxiliary verb indicating probability, not certainty) have
something to do with a need you have of being the object of people's
*attention*?

Although I get joy of entertaining, that's not the case that I sought out a
group like this. It just got a bit frustrating to read people's posts where
it appears they're bickering back and forth.... not necessarily posts direct
to or about me at all... But just in general! I enjoy reading posts that
aren't directed towards me... and I might not even comment on the posts...
but still find them supportive and helpful. But is there really a need to
flame/fight/bicker in these types of forums?

Post by Snell
Do you really not know, Andy, that many of the same people who read
alt.support.depression.manic also read
alt.support.depression.manic.moderated?

Yes, I'm well aware for that.. haha.... I'm not an overly sensitive kind of
guy. I can take a lot of heat....all in fun... but I'm sorry... I don't need
to deal with someone wishing to demonstrate some type of superiority by
mocking me (or anyone else).

Post by Snell
Painting all of us with the broad, broad brush of "many people there
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others" is not productive, either for you or for others.
It's a little passive-aggressive, a little ungrateful, and a little
self-centered . . . those three traits are going to make your disorder
harder on you; I think you might well jettison them.

Again... I do apologize for the broad generalization.

Post by Snell
All of this is intended as "support," and nothing more or less.
Best, Snell
P.S. I put some comments interspersed in your OP. (RS)
On the contrary, it had seemed that almost all responses to you, Andy,
were kind and supportive. Sure, there was some teasing about your
idiosyncrasy of speech, but that was clearly (to me) joking. At least
four (4) people, including me, came forward and actively welcomed you.
The irony is that, just as Maggie suggested in her 6/30 post to you,
Andy, most of the people in ADSM also check out this newsgroup as well.

Oh, and the joking of my 'speech' was taken as humor... haha... I get it all
the time. Again, to me it's not necessarily even a direct post to me.. but
seeing certain individuals almost have the majority of their posts be
nothing but (for the most part) derogatory comments.... that's what I find
to be disrespectful ... like it seems their purpose of posting to the group
is to see what clever ways they can belittle someone.. *sigh*.... but enough
of that... I'm over it. Let's move on.

[HoPpeR© trading at 1492¥]

Post by Andy Mundt
But is there really a need to
flame/fight/bicker in these types of forums?

Well yes there is a need, otherwise it would not happen. Many people
work out differences by "bickering". Some never work out anything and
just bicker. It's the nature of people in general and more so with
bipolar people.

Be well,

HoP

The preceding message represents personal opinions
and/or advice that may prove incorrect or harmful. But then maybe not.
Feel free to disregard.

------- Words have no Warranty ------
------- No View without Merit ------
..

[Stephanie]

As you'd say HoP, hmmmm

What is the need about when the person that they are flaming/fighting/
bickering just ignores them and won't respond to them, and yet they
persist in picking apart posts, finding offense where none is intended,
and being intentionally vicious? I have always thought it took two to
fight, but I am rethinking that presumption!!

PS Andy, I get it. Overstated when overwhelmed, and now apologized
for the overstatement. All cool by me. As a matter of fact, thanks
for leading me over here.

Post by HoPpeR© trading at 1492¥

Post by Andy Mundt
But is there really a need to
flame/fight/bicker in these types of forums?

Well yes there is a need, otherwise it would not happen. Many people
work out differences by "bickering". Some never work out anything and
just bicker. It's the nature of people in general and more so with
bipolar people.
Be well,
HoP
The preceding message represents personal opinions
and/or advice that may prove incorrect or harmful. But then maybe not.
Feel free to disregard.
------- Words have no Warranty ------
------- No View without Merit ------
..

[Snell]

Well, that was a pretty cool response, Andy! I agree, let's move on.

Snell.

[Maggie]

Note, this reply to Snell's excellent post was also posed on ASDM..by
me.

I submitted the following message to the thread Andy Mundt started in
asdm-moderated, after he complained that: "[M]any people there [here]
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others." I submitted this letter 12 hours ago; either
something went wrong with Google Groups (it happens) or it was kept out
by the Moderator. I'm still posting my response. I think it's
important--for you, Andy, for the people who have replied to you here,
and for me.

Snell,
Your exreemly well written and on point post did show up there.and was
probably welcomed.
Need to remember that the moderators there are not on duty every
minuted of the day. Two of them, who I'm proud to call friends,
HeatherOK andActofil.....Nancy are both married women....hubbies, kids,
houses to run....hey.....Heather actually holds an impressive and
bonafide full time job.
Things almost always show up within 24 hours....an sometimes much much
more quickly if you happen to post when they're moderating.
As to Andy and newbies in general. Coming into a BP group you're
usually feeling fragile......that's what often motivates you to seek
that all important source of help. sometimes a mmoderated group is the
safest place to do it. Remembering what it was like for me to hop
on......soon after a very major nervous breakdown.....entering groups
can be hard and having a tough skin is definately on the menu.
The moderated group was extreemly active several years ago....lots of
posters lots of friends lots of life, information and sharing happy and
sad news with those who cared.
Membership and activity fell of dramatically when out belove Robert P
died suddenly or ot so sudenly about a year and a half ago. He was in
many ways the heart and soul of the group, one of the best friends you
could ever have....to all. Hard to find, even in real life. I moved
over here almost exclusively because not finding him there hurt so
much. I think many felt that way.
I'd like to see more life and activity returm to that group and would
like to ask all of us to pop in over there and heop it grow back to
what it was in it's heyday.
Maggie

[Stephanie]

Maggie, thank you for leading me over here and explaining the
backstory.
I think this may be the answer for me as well. xo

Post by Maggie
Note, this reply to Snell's excellent post was also posed on ASDM..by
me.

I submitted the following message to the thread Andy Mundt started in
asdm-moderated, after he complained that: "[M]any people there [here]
are more concerned about boosting themselves than helping and
supporting others." I submitted this letter 12 hours ago; either
something went wrong with Google Groups (it happens) or it was kept out
by the Moderator. I'm still posting my response. I think it's
important--for you, Andy, for the people who have replied to you here,
and for me.

Snell,
Your exreemly well written and on point post did show up there.and was
probably welcomed.
Need to remember that the moderators there are not on duty every
minuted of the day. Two of them, who I'm proud to call friends,
HeatherOK andActofil.....Nancy are both married women....hubbies, kids,
houses to run....hey.....Heather actually holds an impressive and
bonafide full time job.
Things almost always show up within 24 hours....an sometimes much much
more quickly if you happen to post when they're moderating.
As to Andy and newbies in general. Coming into a BP group you're
usually feeling fragile......that's what often motivates you to seek
that all important source of help. sometimes a mmoderated group is the
safest place to do it. Remembering what it was like for me to hop
on......soon after a very major nervous breakdown.....entering groups
can be hard and having a tough skin is definately on the menu.
The moderated group was extreemly active several years ago....lots of
posters lots of friends lots of life, information and sharing happy and
sad news with those who cared.
Membership and activity fell of dramatically when out belove Robert P
died suddenly or ot so sudenly about a year and a half ago. He was in
many ways the heart and soul of the group, one of the best friends you
could ever have....to all. Hard to find, even in real life. I moved
over here almost exclusively because not finding him there hurt so
much. I think many felt that way.
I'd like to see more life and activity returm to that group and would
like to ask all of us to pop in over there and heop it grow back to
what it was in it's heyday.
Maggie

[Nom dePlume]

Post by Andy Mundt
PS... although there weren't many in this post, I quite often use a lot of
"hehe" and "haha" in my emails/msgs! haha

Why do you do that? It's a very unusual mannerism.

[HoPpeR© trading at 1492¥]

On Sun, 2 Jul 2006 18:33:42 -0700, "Nom dePlume"

Post by Nom dePlume

Post by Andy Mundt
PS... although there weren't many in this post, I quite often use a lot of
"hehe" and "haha" in my emails/msgs! haha

Why do you do that? It's a very unusual mannerism.

Perhaps because it makes him feel more comfortable about saying
things, laughing tends to diffuse anxiety.

Be well,

HoP

The preceding message represents personal opinions
and/or advice that may prove incorrect or harmful. But then maybe not.
Feel free to disregard.

------- Words have no Warranty ------
------- No View without Merit ------
..

[Cybil Cyclone]

Hi Andy and welome to ASDMM. There is a lot of caring people in this
group. I cannot speak on ASDM because I choose not to participate that
often.

Just remember that most everyone is BP and have their problems also. My
suggestion is to read other's posts and get to know these brilliant
people. Doing so is another way of support even though it is not
directly answering your post.

As far as your meds go, I too take the same as you. I've been
diagnosed 20+ years ago. The scripts I take is stablizing me now and
throughout the years, I've learned to recognize mood changes and I see
a PDoc (psychiatrist) every month.

I hope you find the support you are looking for. Again, familiarize
yourself by reading posts from others. You receive support from
friends and church friends. That is probably more support than most of
us have. My family still after all these years cannot accept my
illness. That is what it is. Find some coping skills and educate
yourself about this illness.

This is only my opinion.

Take care. I hope I helped even if it is just a little.
Cybil
++++

On Sat, Jul 1, 2006, 11:02pm (EDT+4) ***@mac.com (Andy=A0Mundt)
wrote the lolloing:

Hello Group,
Well... I figured I'd see what the moderated group is like... I was
searching for a possible support group... I posted less than I week in
the ASDM.. and quickly discovered that many people there are more
concerned about boosting themselves than helping and supporting others.
I really hope this group, being moderated, will be a bit more respectful
and resourceful.
I'm Andy... just recently diagnosed BP II this past Oct... I recently
had a very bad episode that landed me a week's stay in the hospital (I
just got out this past Mon). And while in the hospital I realized that I
really needed to get a better support system in place.
Anyway.. just a quick lil bout me... grew up in northern Minnesota...
lived 3 years in Wisconsin before moving to Orlando, Florida 3 years
ago. I have a great girlfriend, although that's another discussion in
and of itself right there!... But find a lot of support if my friends
and church, which is like family to me being so far away from my actual
family.
I currently take 10mb lexapro, 200mg lamictal, and .5 xanax as needed..
although the xanax is just kind of a quick bandaide fix for a cpl weeks
while my doctor's actually on vacation. haha... she just didn't want to
start me on a new med and head out of town.
~Andy
PS... although there weren't many in this post, I quite often use a lot
of "hehe" and "haha" in my emails/msgs! haha

[Cybil Cyclone]

Hi Andy and welome to ASDMM. There is a lot of caring people in this
group. I cannot speak on ASDM because I choose not to participate that
often.

Just remember that most everyone is BP and have their problems also. My
suggestion is to read other's posts and get to know these brilliant
people. Doing so is another way of support even though it is not
directly answering your post.

As far as your meds go, I too take the same as you. I've been
diagnosed 20+ years ago. The scripts I take is stablizing me now and
throughout the years, I've learned to recognize mood changes and I see
a PDoc (psychiatrist) every month.

I hope you find the support you are looking for. Again, familiarize
yourself by reading posts from others. You receive support from
friends and church friends. That is probably more support than most of
us have. My family still after all these years cannot accept my
illness. That is what it is. Find some coping skills and educate
yourself about this illness.

This is only my opinion.

Take care. I hope I helped even if it is just a little.
Cybil
++++

On Sat, Jul 1, 2006, 11:02pm (EDT+4) ***@mac.com (Andy=A0Mundt)
wrote the lolloing:

Hello Group,
Well... I figured I'd see what the moderated group is like... I was
searching for a possible support group... I posted less than I week in
the ASDM.. and quickly discovered that many people there are more
concerned about boosting themselves than helping and supporting others.
I really hope this group, being moderated, will be a bit more respectful
and resourceful.
I'm Andy... just recently diagnosed BP II this past Oct... I recently
had a very bad episode that landed me a week's stay in the hospital (I
just got out this past Mon). And while in the hospital I realized that I
really needed to get a better support system in place.
Anyway.. just a quick lil bout me... grew up in northern Minnesota...
lived 3 years in Wisconsin before moving to Orlando, Florida 3 years
ago. I have a great girlfriend, although that's another discussion in
and of itself right there!... But find a lot of support if my friends
and church, which is like family to me being so far away from my actual
family.
I currently take 10mb lexapro, 200mg lamictal, and .5 xanax as needed..
although the xanax is just kind of a quick bandaide fix for a cpl weeks
while my doctor's actually on vacation. haha... she just didn't want to
start me on a new med and head out of town.
~Andy
PS... although there weren't many in this post, I quite often use a lot
of "hehe" and "haha" in my emails/msgs! haha